Be A Star?

Ear buds were securely in place. The gym was the location. Those two elements meant one thing: do not speak with Phil Brooks. Loud music blared into his brain as he used on the facilities exercise bikes. He was in that zone you get from an intense work out. But, in-evidently, something would come along to ruin it. A sort of middle aged pudgy guy, smiling, walked up and carefully removed one of Punk's ear buds. Inexcusable. One would assume that after being a shot a death glare the guy would go away. No. He apparently lacked any and all common sense.

Guy: "Whatcha listenin' to?"

CM Punk: "WAYS TO KILL YOU."

The ignorant but probably well meaning fan took that as his cue to depart. Punk shook his head as a howling bit of laughter came from behind him.

Dolph Ziggler: "That. Was. Priceless."

CM Punk: "Fuck off, Nemeth."

Punk and Ziggler had hit the gym, coincidentally at the same time. Not the best of friends but they were cordial enough. Ziggler thought Punk was funny and the Chicago native liked the ex-Spirit Squaders in ring-work.

Dolph Ziggler: "GLORIOUS mood as always. Are you pissed because you're gonna get stiffed by Bully Ray?"

CM Punk: "Why would he do that?"

Dolph Ziggler: "Because he's an asshole and he likes to stiff people?"

CM Punk: "I'll stiff him right in the balls with my kneecap."

Dolph Ziggler: "Actually, you two would probably get along really well.."

CM Punk: "Seems cool to me."

Nick Nemeth threw his hands up and rolled his eyes.

Dolph Ziggler: "Knew it."

CM Punk: "Look the first round I had Nigel. It was a glorified try out and he was out of shape. And no offense to Funaki, because our match turned out better than I thought it would, but he's obviously not very full impact. I know Ray doesn't care if I hit him and he won't be afraid to hit me back. I kind of need that right now."

Dolph Ziggler: "First man in the history of the sport that WANTS to get punched by Bully Ray. Congrats! You have fun with that!"

Ziggler patted Punk on the shoulder and walked off. Punk slipped his ear buds back in and got his legs pumping once more. He saw the way the booking of the tournament could end up. If he ended up having a confrontation with Cena he couldn't promise it was going to go professionally. So he was hoping a brawl with the notoriously rough Bully Ray would help curve that instinct, should the situation arise..

  

XXX

CM Punk stood in front of a brick wall and he was pissed. And you could tell this because he was pacing back and forth with a scowl on his face. The surface of the wall behind him was covered in graffiti related to him such a triple x's and other Straight Edge slogans. He pointed a finger towards the camera in a threatening manner. 

CM Punk: "I'M CM PUNK! AND I DON'T HAVE AN IN-DOOR VOICE!"

The ball cap he wore was pulled low over his face and it almost concealed his eyes completely. Before continuing he rubbed a few fingers along his beard and snarled.

CM Punk: "MY OPPONENT FOR THIS WEEK IS BULLY RAY! BULLY! I DON'T LIKE YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOU'RE FACE. I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT YOU. I AM GOING TO MESS YOU UP. YOUR CALVES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME! I LAUGH AT YOUR CALVES! I LAUGH AT YOUR MOTHER FOR BRINGING YOU INTO THIS WORLD! I WILL PUNCH YOUR GRANDFATHER STRAIGHT IN THE DICK! YOU DON'T WANT NONE OF ME! GET READY FOR THE MOST VIOLENT AND PAINFUL BEATING OF YOUR LIFE! I'M CM PUNK!"

Punk tossed his hat down, stepped on it, and stormed off. The scene began to fade before he returned and waved his hands about.

CM Punk: "No, no. That was just me using what I learned in the "Bully Ray School of Promo's 101" class. This isn't over. I've got a lot more to say if you can believe that."

The Straight Edge savior bore a little grin as he allowed his back to rest against the wall behind him.

 CM Punk: "I'm going to have to get pass Bully Ray if I want to make it to the final four of the King Of The Ring Tournament. And you may not be aware of this but our competition has this little slogan and campaign they like to use called "Be A Star". It essentially means not to bully anyone. A really admirable deal if wasn't associated with the huge bully in Vince McMahon. But the point I'm getting at is that I guess I couldn't really be a part of the movement. Because at Warfare I am going to bully Bully Ray. No, I'm not going to give him a wet willie or shove him into a locker. I'm going to give him the beating he's been asking for ever since he opened his mouth in this company."

Punk began to scratch at his chin while giving his head a few slow nods.

CM Punk: "See, I'm a little torn in regards to how I feel towards 'ol Mongo Vyle. I mean, he's a complete and total dick. And a lot of people will tell you that CM Punk is also a colossal dick. So, maybe we're cut from the same cloth. We don't play well with others and we aren't generally friendly people. But there's a difference. I don't get in the face of defenseless, innocent women and scream at them. Just like Bully did to poor Lilian last week. He insulted her and probably made her feel as if she were about two inches tall. Well, I don't respect that at all. I love strong, decent women and I'm not here to abuse them. So for Lilian and every other woman that Bully has made feel like complete garbage..watch Warfare. I'm going to make Bully feel as scared and defenseless as he made you feel. Because he can't push me around, he can't scare me and he sure as hell won't intimidate me."

Punk had always revered strong, independent women, despite his reputation for dating numerous diva's during his career. So seeing one get treated like dirt didn't do much to aid his "always sunny" disposition.

CM Punk: "And then I began to think, ya know, Bully, like myself, knows when it's time for reinvention. He knew his act was growing stale and he changed it. He was a guy strictly known for tag team wrestling. He was a part of a very successful tag team, mind you, but he had no single accolades. He was a D-D-D-D-Dudley Boy with a stutter who used to rub one off to images of custom tables on google."

The tattoo covered grappler shrugged his shoulders.

CM Punk: "Hey, we're all kinky in our own way. I'm not here to judge the guy because he got orgasms when he put Mae Young through a table."

Punk's expression took a twist towards revolution.

CM Punk: "Oh man. Since putting people through tables was like this sexual ordeal for Bully..does that mean..he's technically..had sex with Mae Young?"

The former World Champion blinked hard and slowly shook his head.

CM Punk: "Let's just move on and say that Bully is in an exclusive club right along Mark Henry. Anyhow, I'm going to give it up for the guy. He is easily in the best shape of his entire career. He got hired here because the wrestling world took notice of his improvements. And, yes, the dude's calves are impressive. But this isn't about his dumbass calves. I don't have a six pack or rock hard triceps. But I've got knuckles and feet and when I aim them towards someone's face, all the calve muscles in the world can't save them."

The snarky routine was over and Punk decided to focus strictly on the task at hand.

CM Punk: "With all the said..I know for a fact that 'this isn't going to be easy. This isn't Desmond Wolfe or Funaki. I know for a fact that Bully Ray is a mean son of a bitch and a really sick bastard. He likes hurting people and he's practically made a career out of it. He's left broken bodies in ECW, WWE and I'm sure he's looking to do the same here. I know I'm in for a fight and I'm aware that I'm going to walk out of this with a few bruises. I'm going for a head on collision. I'm not going to feel satisfied if I beat him with a sneaky roll up or a count out or something. No, the only option here is to have this chump laid out at my feet, preferably bleeding from his eye sockets."

He began to wag a finger back and forth.

CM Punk: "But let's not take this the wrong way. Just because I'm going to beat up the living embodiment of bully doesn't mean I'm the defender of nerds, geeks and doofus'. I don't want to be invited to your D&D conventions, I don't want to watch Dr. Who with you and I definitely don't want to play video games with you. The only video game I'm good at it is Rock Band and the rest can go to hell. I'm aware that I read comic books but I prefer the term GRAPHIC NOVEL. And aside from all of that, I'm going to be a little busy. After I send Bully Ray to the hospital, or wherever the hell Dances With Dudley, Chubby Dudley and Dudley Dudley, ended up, I'm getting to the final four to smack around either Orton or Clay.

He smirk formed the corner of his mouth.

CM Punk: "And I really couldn't care less which one it is. 'Cause I like how "King Punk" sounds and it doesn't matter who is in front of me. Concussion ridden Brits, evil Japanese, bullies, predators, or dancing dinosaurs..that's quite rogue's gallery but the result is going to be the same. Me getting a bad ass coronation while I sit on sweet looking throne. And, yes, I will rock the crown, cape and scepter look and I WILL flaunt it in your face every chance I get."

Punk threw his arms over his chest in the form of an "X" to bring the promo to an end.