Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not A Team Player

Daffney sat in the office of Dr. Stevie, seated upon a leather stool with her fingers gripped upon the seat between her legs. The doctor paced behind her as a tinge of anger began to grow upon her face. Some long strands of hair swept in front of the right portion of her face while her nails began to dig into the material of the stool she sat upon.

Dr. Stevie: "I'll assume you've heard the news."

Her response came in the form of a scream and the doctor nodded in understanding.

Dr. Stevie: "I'll take that as a yes." 

Daffney: "They want me to team with them? Are they insane?"

Dr. Stevie: "We do find ourselves in the presence of madness quite often, don't we?"

Daffney: "First of all, I'm not teaming with Wanna Be Me #1 and Wanna Be Me #2. I would rather choke and die. Secondly, what the hell happened to my title shot?!"

Dr. Stevie: "It would appear as though someone thought the conflict presented between you having to team with Ariel and Allison would be more intriguing."

Daffney: "Ha. Ha. Ha. Can you find me that person so I can shove a rusty ice cream scoop into their eyelids?"

Dr. Stevie: "I am here to fulfill your every whimsical desire after all."

The doctor jotted down a few notes while pacing slowly behind his patient. Daffney buried a pair of fingers between her eyes, grumbling while rubbing away.

Daffney: "Oy. I need another vacation already."

Dr. Stevie: "I'm afraid we've already used up our time for the year. I could make a report and tell them that you're a lost cause but then they might institutionalize you. I wouldn't want to risk my license or personal integrity."

Daffney placed a hand on her cheek and released a dreamy sigh. 

Daffney: "That place wasn't so bad. Those nurses with their little cups filled with pills. Interesting conversations. I kinda miss it.."

Dr. Stevie: "But if you go away you won't be able to stop certain someone's from stealing your..'shtick' as you refer to it."

Daffney: [EXPLETIVE] those [EXPLETIVES] right in there [EXPLETIVE].

The raven haired psychopaths shoulders slumped as she spat out that batch of colorful language.

Dr. Stevie: "Charming. You do realize that in order to win this match you will have to cooperate with them. They are going to be your partners."

Daffney: "Yeah right! They are not my partners. They can stand on the apron, look stupid, and let me do all of the work. And the vampire chick is the captain?! Seriously?! I've been here longer than her! She's not even fit to clean my boots! If she even so much as makes eye contact with me..I'll eat her up. Bones and all."

Daffney's eyes flash wide with madness as she quickly licks her lips. 

Dr. Stevie: "This isn't going to end well, is it?"

Daffney: "You know me so well. I don't think I'm really going to be much of a team player. But I think I'm going to have some fun anyway."

Dr. Stevie: "Do you even know or care who your actual opponents are?"

Daffney: "Why would I care about something like that?"

Daffney leans backwards in her chair, showing both amazing and freakish flexibility as a wide grin crosses her face. Stevie just sighs to himself.


Dr. Stevie: "Normally, I would tell you to focus and begin some kind of preparation but.."

Daffney: "..but?" 

Dr. Stevie: "They have a male manager. Father something or other. They're trying to close in on my territory as well. So do as you please. Make me proud, kiddo."

As she begins to snicker, Daffney quickly adjusts her spine into a normal position and smirks into the camera as Dr. Stevie does the same over her shoulder.

Daffney: "You betcha."