Jim Ross: "Daffney, my first question is regarding your attack on Melina a week ago."
Daffney: "Yeah.."
Jim Ross: "It appeared to me, and a lot of other people, that the contents you spilled on her.."
Daffney: "Yeah?"
Her grin becomes wider as she appears to be very proud of her work.
Jim Ross: "Well, it looked like..blood."
Daffney: "Bravo Jimmy! You win the prize! It was blood! Wasn't it? Maybe it was. Maybe it was from another person. Or maybe it was from some kind of animal. Like a boar. Or a dog. Or maybe it was just food coloring. I'll never teeeeelllll.."
Jim Ross: "It may have crossed the line. I realize that the competition in the EBWF is very intense, especially when a title is involved, but.."
Daffney: "Crossed the line?! Why don't you try and lighten up! It's not MY fault she can't take a joke! I happened to think it was very funny so THERE."
The Scream Queen folds her arms tightly over her chest and sticks her tongue out in annoyance.
Jim Ross: "Why do you have such a problem with Melina? This seems to go far beyond the Sky High Title."
Daffney: "People like Melina make me very ill. Just about every diva in this company has the same effect, as a matter of fact. They all think they're just so special and pretty. They get invited to all of the parties because they're so easily digestible, boring and conventional. But just because I'm a little bit different I get looked down upon and they turn their noses up to me. And then when I cut those noses off they get all uppity like I did something wrong. Melina is the worst of these offenders. So, ya know, I really can't help when I get this tingly feeling from standing on her throat..he..hehe.."
She slides her hands over her mouth, muffling her laughter while her grin could be seen creeping along the corners of her lips.
Jim Ross: "The both of you have claimed victories over one another. What do you feel your chances are going to be this time? What do you plan on doing to reclaim the Sky High Title?"
Daffney: "Jimmy, the best way I express myself right now is by reciting the lyrics to Melina's theme music. A dramatic reading."
Jim Ross: "Eh?"
Daffney: "A-A-A-Ahem."
Daffney clears her throat and shuffles a sheet of paper with the lyrics to Rihanna's "Hard" in her lap. She placed a black kazoo into her mouth and did her best to mimic the beat of the tune before beginning.
Daffney: "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ..Yeah."
Daffney lowers the paper for a moment to quirk a brow.
Daffney: "This is really deep stuff here, Jim. Ahem. 'They can say whatever, I'm'a do whatever, no pain is forever, yup, you know this.'"
The dark haired former champion's eyes begin to darken as a cackle escapes from her chest.
Daffney: "Oh, I beg to differ! Pain can be forever! Unrelenting, crushing and nightmare inducing! I'm going to introduce Melina to this kind of pain. She's going to be very acquainted with it when I'm done with her. Where was I? Oh yes..
'Tougher than a lion, ain't no need in tryin'
HAH! That's a good one! Melina's no lion! She's a tepid little, de-clawed kitten! A diseased monstrosity that's about to be put down!"
Warfare's lead announcer looks terribly confused but he wasn't exactly expecting a conventional interview considering who his subject is. Daffney begins to drum her painted nails along the arm rest of her chair while studying the lyrics a bit closer. Evidently, this isn't her type of music. Soon she crumbles up the sheet in her hands and tosses it over her shoulder.
Daffney: "Blah, blah, blah! This song is stupid! All I know is that it says something about being a truth teller and being the hottest bitch in high-heels. Well, first of all, Melina is a gigantic liar because she tells the world that she isn't afraid of me when we all know that isn't true. She's terrified of me and I know my recent attack is lingering in the back of her mind. I should be a phobia for her right about now. But guess what? That isn't even the tip of the ice burg! I can do much, much worse things to little miss A-Lister."
Daffney leaned closer in her seat towards the already uneasy announcer, her eyes pulled open wide and her voice dropping to a whisper.
Daffney: "I've been thinking about it a lot. ..Wanna hear the details?"
Jim Ross: "Ah, no, actually. I believe that's going to answer any questions I may have had. Thank you for your valuable time and providing our fans with this insight!"
Daffney: "Charmed!"
Ross made his exit as Daffney leaned back in her chair with that same, wide eyed, far out look to her. Leaving her to her own devices and thoughts.
"..I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you.."
We are treated to Daffney's soft singing voice as the scene relocates. The makeshift office of Dr. Stevie where the therapist leans over a desk filled with paper work and files. Daffney creeps along behind him and wraps her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face into the crook of his shoulder.
Daffney: "Your dear old Daffney is about to be a champion once again. Isn't that exciting, pudding?"
Dr. Stevie: "Yes. Terribly exciting. Unless, of course, you fail again. Which is entirely possible, isn't it?"
Daffney unwraps her arms from the doctor's neck and rises to her full height after being greeted with such a cold tone. Her face goes emotionless before her teeth grit together and her hands curl up into a pair of tight fists.
Daffney: "LISTEN YOU!"
She snatches Stevie by the tie and suddenly jerks him to his feet. The mind bending physician is more than a little surprised by this as he typicall has Daffney well under his thumb.
Daffney: "I'm under a lot of pressure right now, OK?! And I could use a little support right about now! If I don't get my title back from her I'm gonna SNAP! Ever heard of bein' helpful?! You're supposed to make me feel better not MAKE IT WORSE! And another thing! I don't care how busy you are! Yer supposed take me out every once in awhile an' make me feel good about myself!"
Dr. Stevie: "..Uh..Daffney..baby.."
Daffney: "Don't 'baby' me! Dinner! Dancing! A movie! SOMETHIN! Ya didn't even do that when I had the title! I was a champion and you didn't even notice!"
Dr. Stevie's hands scramble about across his table for something. After a moment of searching he finally, he snatches up a bouquet of black roses which he holds out in front of Daffney's face. Her expression remains harsh but slowly begins to soften as the sight causes an excited squeal to come from her.
Daffney: "Awwww! I knew you were thinking about me!"
Daffney releases her grip in the doctor's tie and throws her arms around his neck in a tight, squeezing hug. Stevie releases a sigh of relief and pats the female on the back a few times, kissing the top of her head.
Dr. Stevie: "..Uh..o-of course I was! Yes. I'm always thinking of you. And I know you're going to win this week and massacre that little prostitute. Champ."
Daffney: "And if I get into trouble you're gonna come down and Super Kick her straight in teeth, right?"
Dr. Stevie: "Yes. Straight in the teeth."
Satisfied, Daffney buries her face into his chest and exhales dreamily. Stevie hugs her back but his eyes are wide as they bead around the room. The look on his face is shouting "My god, what have I gotten into?"
